A good friend of mine once said (something to the effect of), “Everything I can’t say, I put quotes around.”
Which, after recognizing and deeply appreciating the irony, I found myself agreeing with fully.
Everything I can’t say, I (too) put quotes around. I make it rhyme. I put it in verse. Situations I don’t want to face, I place in a distant world of my own creation. True stories and instances I don’t want to be questioned about because I’m just not ready, I label Shorts. It’s not so much sweeping under the rug as it is… giving welfare to corporations and calling it a bailout. A rose by any other name would still… suck as much.
I’ve been avoiding writing, I’ve noticed. Which is funny because it’s what I do, right? It’s what I love. It’s on the top of the very short list of things I’m actually good at. It’s… God, it’s writing! And, as I’ve said before and still stick by, writing makes it real. Really, really real. Writing makes it possible for your deepest fears to stare you back in the face with every bit of brutal honesty 26 letters can carry. And that scares me.
But if I won’t face it, and I can’t write about it… I’m at a loss. A loss for words. A loss for action. I’m lost.
I pride myself on being able to blur the line between fact and fiction. And now, it is that very talent which is becoming my downfall. I can’t hide my thoughts and feelings behind my words, rhymes, verses, stanzas, or stories anymore.
It’s funny. When I was growing up, my grandmother and some of my older aunts had a saying for when someone was lying: “You’re storyin’.” Ah, the mystical wisdom of elders…
.:~o*’Kaylyn’*o~:.
12.4.09
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