There is an I in FAIL

So I took a test today that I felt pretty prepared for. I actually studied for about 2 hours last night--yes, me, I studied a head of time for a test instead of cramming the morning of. I made out a detailed study guide for the type of question I was made to believe I should expect. I even hand wrote the study guide, woke up early, went to school an hour before class and typed it. I was thinking that if I could see the material twice and retain it better. Which actualy worked pretty well. I waited outside my classroom, reading over my now-printed out study guide which by now I could pretty much recite by heart.

The class settled in. Only about 12 people were brave enough to take the test. As the teacher came in with her stack of exams, I felt confident... Bring it on, baby! Then, I saw the test.... Take it back, please!

I wasn't prepared at all for the questions on the exam. But the policy is, "If you see the test, you take the test. And if you take the test, I grade the test." Needless to say, I sat there in a state of complete shock followed by a deep depression. I must have stared at the words for a full 10 mins, hoping there was something on the page that would save me. No dice. I wanted to cry. But I pulled myself together and just started writing.

I wish this were the paragraph where I say I started writing, things started flowing out fluidly, and I realized I knew more than I thought. I wish I were writing, "while making my study guide, I picked up a lot more than just the answers I was looking for." But life isn't like that. Not mine. Not this time.

I fucked up. My focus was so narrow that I left no wiggle room for the possibility of another type of question being asked on the test. So now, I wait for the dismal score to be returned. I've already told myself it's a 0 and have worked out the different scenerios required for a decent gpa from the class.

I'm learning to live with my decision. I'm upset, yes. But I also know the professor has a right to ask whatever questions she wishes. And I'm supposed to be prepared. I know that now. And I'll know for next time. Guess that's the real knowledge gained from all this.


.:~o*'Kaylyn'*o~:.