Rest and Just Believe

I'm always amazed at the graciousness of God and His presence in my life. I see it in the things that make me indescribably happy like my godson's smile or the peace that I feel when I'm attending mass. Further more, I'm humbled by (as a great inspiration of mine would say) "moments of unscripted grace." Here's on that happened today.

Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed by the new role that been placed in my lap: responsible adult. Neither of these two words describe me very well. Nor do I aspire to become either.. not any time soon, anyways. I'm tired more often than usual; I have no time for myself; I'm frustrated and irritated more often than not.. It's not very good.

However, something happened to me today that just made me stop, throw my hands up, and give it to God.

This weekend, my mom came for a visit. She was helping me buy new clothes for my new job. More professional wear. Which, as you might imagine, I have little to none of. Anyway, I was really excited to have my mom come for a visit. Even more so because I knew my sister and brother-in-law would be going home. So it'd be just me and her. I know it's a terrible thing to say, but I know my mom prefers the company of my sister over me. It just is what it is. So I was doubly excited learning she'd be making a trip just for me.

Well, when she got to BR she told me she wanted to get on the road pretty early the very next day. Meaning she'd stay less than 24 hours. I was a little jolted and hurt because I thought she'd try to make time for a proper visit. Time for me. But that didn't happen.

I also wanted to discuss my car situation. I thought she'd have good news for me. I thought we'd discuss things. But when I brought it up, I found her evasive and, even more upsetting, indifferent to what I'm going through. She even took my sister's side on another issue that had upset me earlier that week. But, as I said, I've been irritated a lot lately, so maybe that could explain that. Oh well. Point being: I was upset. And hurt. And feeling.. overwhelmed and ignored. Which, in a person like me, is not a very good combination.

So, on the way to mass this morning my mom and I were listening to inspirational music and a song came on that just grabbed me. The words were just what I needed to hear when I needed to hear them. I can't describe the feeling I got hearing the lyrics as they played.. powerful is about as close as I can get. I was nearly moved to tears. Coupled with the homily of mass, this song really helped me relax and prepare for the week ahead. And the responsibilities that will come in the future.

It's called "All Things Are Working" and here's some of the lyrics:

Falling apart
and tearing at the seams
Tribulation lends a hand
and squeezes all your hopes, your dream
You say you retreat,
you say you just can't win
Before you let your circumstance tell you how the story ends

Know that His word says you can stand,
He'll cover you with His grace
Everything you need is in your hand,
So lift up your head and say

All things are working for me,
even things I can't see
Your ways are so beyond me,
but You said that you would
let it be for my good,
so I'll rest and just believe


I don't know what God has planned for me in the future. And this may be far from my trial, but I have decided that I will allow Him to take the wheel and do His will. I can't let every little problem and difficulty get my down. I have to trust Him and His judgement. And in return, I know He'll provide me with everything I need. Even strength and understanding I can't see myself having or helping. I will try my best to be patient (although it's not a strongpoint for me) have faith. I'll rest and believe.

.:~o*'Kaylyn'*o~:.

Cubicals, calls, and stuff--oh my!

Okay, so I actually ran out of stuff to list for the title, but this is the obligatory new job post. That's right, I finally got my big post-grad, big girl job. Which, I guess if I were much of an adult, I wouldn't refer to it as that, but eh.

As of Wednesday, I'm training to become part of the Resolutions Team for Home Depot's corporate office. That means I'm issuing customer concessions and solving problems for the biggest home store in the world! Omg. Right now, I'm basically just listening in on phone calls (complaints) and watching the other members of the team do their work. I did get to key in a few gift cards, but more on that later.

So, day one:

There are 4 of us from the recruiting firm (it's not a temp agency, it's a recruiting firm) who started in Resolutions. We arrived at the large concrete and glass building at 8a like we were told and waited in the lobby for someone to give us further instructions. And although we're all young adults (actually, one girl told me she's 28), we were like children on the first day of kindergarten. The room was silent. Every time someone came through the door, we picked our heads up hoping they were coming for us. Most people just breezed through with a kind smile before swiping their keycard and moving through the door at the back of the lobby. We were silent. And scared.

Melissa, a Supervisor from our department, finally came in at about 8:05a (though it felt like we had been waiting much longer) and retrieved us like we were the last kids at daycamp. "I'm sorry," she said hurriedly like she had just ran down the six flights of steps it would have taken to get from Resolutions to the lobby. "They told me you all would arrive this morning but I didn't know where to find you." No one said anything. She motioned us to follow her and we did.

We all herded into the elevator and Melissa pressed 6. The top floor. The elevator is half glass, so I watched as we slowly ascended into the air. The elevator slowed feet from the ceiling and then lurched to level with the floor. We all filed out after Melissa and followed her into the office.

The office floor was about what I expected: a large room filled with cubicles and people buzzing around doing work. Melissa then began assigning us to employees to shadow for the day. I was assigned to Ammie. She was very nice and enthusiastic. I liked working with her. Under her. Watching her. She has the efficiency of an elementary school teacher: very patient and always smiling.

At 10a, though, it was time for Ammie to go to lunch. Since I didn't know any of the other temps, I just went to the large break room on the third floor (which Ammie showed me)and read my book. Alone. Because it was so early in the morning, I guess no one else was on lunch so it was pretty empty. Which I didn't mind; I always value good reading time.

When I got back, Melissa informed me that I'd be moving to someone else's desk. She wanted Ammie to work on another task. So I moved to work with Lakesha. Everyone calls her Kesha though (like Keisha, not Ke$ha). She was more comfortable than Ammie. She joked around with the other team members and was way more relaxed. I guess she's been there longer. Anyway, I did some work with her and then I had to move again.

This time it was Carlos. There was already another temp with Carlos, but he let me sit in. It was a little cramped with three people in big rolly chairs--wow, I just realized I typed "rolly chair" and not office chair--into one cubicle. Carlos is what you would call a class clown. He moved around the office talking and joking. It was interesting. I can't really say I learned much from shadowing Carlos. But it was still interesting.

So, yeah, that's about how it's going so far. I'm excited to have a 9-to-5 and be all corporate America-y. Actually, it's 8a-5p, but yeah.

More to come! (hopefully)

.:~o*'Kaylyn'*o~:.