The Psych AP test is tomorrow. I should be studying. I really, really should be studying. But I can't. I can barely focus right now. So, in an attempt to make sense of the storm that's raging inside my head, I'm going to throw some psych terms into this blog. Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
According to Maslow, we all need to fulfill a hierarchy of needs in order to achieve self-actualization; the highest form of living. Physiological needs should be met first: food, water, shelter, etc. I'm full. Heh, check. Next, our safety needs... No check.
While away with my friend today, I got the strangest call from my daddy. "Kaylyn, you was in my room today?" Psht. As if. Why the hell would I be in your room? "Well, someone was in here...All my stuff is all over the room. Someone went through them cabinets. It's on your momma's side, too." You're crazy, old man. How can you be so toasted at 11am? "Well, somebody was in here..." Well, it wasn't me. "Aww... and I see where they came in, too. Right through this window. Hell, they done broke the window and clammed in here. Somebody broke into the house." Excuse me? Come again. Broke in?!? Our house? My house? Robbers... in my room? "Okay then. I'll call your momma."
That's it then. My safety needs aren't being met at the moment. Which makes it damn near impossible to focus on anything else. The need for safety is dominating my self. I feel so guilty. If I had been home... I should've been home. But I wasn't because I was out with a friend. Out of city. Out of state, actually. Without parental consent. Without parental knowledge... If I had been at home... Assigning blame, I'm sure is a common reaction of guilt. But is it common to blame one's self? If I had been home, I could've stopped them... I could've called the police. I could've... died.
If I had only been home...
.:~o*'Kaylyn'o*~:.
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