As I sit down to continue some old work or post a new one, I find myself... inspirationally-challenged. There are so many ideas in my head. It's nearly impossible to calm the storm of ideas long enough to see through the fog and write something coherent. But I know I must write. Writing is the very blood that courses through my veins. It is my strength. And my weakness. It's actually pretty funny; I can't imagine myself doing anything but writing. I'm not good at anything else. I have no marketable skills. I lack the patience to try to learn something else. It's just.. my passion. Writing.
I like to think of what first attracted me to writing. Why I love it so much. I think if I can figure out what first sparked my interests, I can be the lean mean writing machine I was in high school. And, I've found the first thing that attracted me to writing was not writing at all, strangely enough. It was reading. Reading what others had already written. How their worlds opened trails into these unseen worlds parallel to my own. And sometimes within our own worlds. And, then, I remember thinking to myself, Hey, I really enjoy this reading thing... And I was consumed. I was read anything I could get my hands on. Book stores became my favorite place to go and I began to examine the writing process in-depth to find out how these authors had done what they done. How a completely average mind could give life to not so average thoughts and ideas. What I discovered is that I, too, had one of those over-active, imaginative minds and I, too, could create. And I did.
Somewhere between the end of junior year and now, I've realized I've lost that initial drive. My chutzpah, if you will. There's always that voice inside me saying, "This isn't good enough." And I wish to silence it. But I can't. I have become what all writers fear: an editor.
.:~o*'Kaylyn'*o~:.
2 comments:
I find that the most mundane things inspire me, sometimes. For my short ones anyways.
Something I'm trying to finish was inspired by those horns you hear when it's like shelter-in-place, and a four foot server at Ryan's.
Sometimes I just think about a situation, like The Monocle, I wrote that one after rubbing my glasses clean and watching all the blurred people walk by. Most of my other stories come from my personal emotions.
I wish I could give you an inspiration-inducing potion.
But you're the potions master. :/
I think.. you're thinking about sirens, Rachel. Because when you said horns, I was thinking devil horns. And silly me read ahead at the next part and thought you were talking about a 4 foot server wearing devil horns during a shelter-in-place while you were at Ryan's. Haha!
Anything that I write tends to spawn from an idea. Usually abstract. Then I turn it into something concrete. Like I have had this idea about dreamers for the longest time since reading about it in this book at BAM.. I haven't been keen on writing it though. Poo. Haha.
I hope you find your.. writing soul? Or fairy. Or pirate. Or nymph. Or something that will make you want to write. =]
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